mattmanna/blog

Tweets posted during the week of October 19, 2008.

• Karnack: “The answer is – Madonna.” Rip, blow: “Name a nut, a butt and a slut.” Ed: “Hi Yo!”
• I’m not a Doctor, but restless leg syndrome? I mean that’s just a bunch of made up flapdoodle right? (Just felt like using flapdoodle!)
• Like white chocolate in cookies, baseball and halloween don’t belong together.
• A friend just referred to himself as video oriented. By which I guess he means he is pointed towards some video.
• If you call me pumpkin’ I will gauge you quickly. Very quickly!
• A stimulus check sounds like an evaluation you must undergo before you can volunteer at the YMCA.
• People who judge a book by how many sentences make up a paragraph probably don’t have the ability to vote. But, they do have the right.

In October of 2006, after many years of wondering, I was to discover what ghosts looked like.

You see, in that year my then 4 year old niece produced the drawing shown left; along with the following genuine ghost story.

Me: “Madeline what are you drawing?” 
Madeline: “A ghost.”  
Me: “That’s nice but how do you know what ghosts look like?” 
Madeline (pointing at her drawing): “They look like this.” 

Wonderful stuff!

Sufferers of migraine headaches should take inventory of the books in their library and remove (carefully) the writings of Jane Austen. Those mean migraines will surely subside.

Here are some statements about Jane Austen which were individually posted on twitter in the spring of 2008. There are only 18 items, 29 short of 47; please chalk that up to a desire to forego the migraine that follows each time Jane Austen is considered.

1. Rap is to music as Jane Austen is to literature.
2. Jane Austen created 7 full books of goo using the same 26 letters employed by William Shakespeare. Amazing!
3. Choosing not to read Jane Austen is the single greatest privilege of being an adult.
4. Jane Austen would go from outright gasbag to outright genius if there was any evidence indicating she was trying to be funny.
5. Speed reading is no match for Jane Austen; neither is enjoyment, sanity, and the act of breathing.
6. The subjects I enjoy most in literature are those Jane Austen chose not to write about.
7. Last night I had to endure a dinner party chock full of “beige” people. You know, persons who listen to Wagner while reading Jane Austen.
8. As a sculptor, Jane Austen would have chipped away at a block of marble until a floor full of marble chips revealed themselves.
9. If literature was presented like software, the collected works of Jane Austen would be an early beta release.
10. Jane Austen is best described as the only known sleeping aid which does not carry a risk of dependency.
11. Jane Austen’s material is much easier to endure if you pretend it is interesting and funny.
12. The complete Jane Austen; four words that really take the starch out of my dickie.
13. The only thing worse than Teutonic myth is the set of 4 opera’s Wagner wrote about them … that’s if you discount Jane Austen of course.
14. Time travel may not ever become possible. However, it is possible to slow the passage of time. All it takes is the writings of Jane Austen.
15. The poor guy would have died abruptly if King Arthur had been able to read Jane Austen at Python’s Black Knight; doubtless Arthur as well.
16. Jane Austen couldn’t fart in 140 pages or less.
17. It can help to think of less pleasant things when faced with a disagreeable task. Today’s plain oatmeal breakfast was eased via Jane Austen.
18. Metallica: “Boredom comes from a boring mind.” No it doesn’t. Boredom comes from Jane Austen.

Tweets posted during the week of October 12, 2008.

• Dogma breads incompetence. As near as I can tell, dogmatic belief does nothing more than try to keep others from living as they choose.
• Hey Apple, Give us some 17″ lovin’. Thx, McManna (That reads O.K. right?)
• By removing FireWire from the MacBook, Apple is dictating what we must do with a Mac instead of allowing us to discover what we can do. Bad!

Tweets posted during the week of October 5, 2008.

• Today two friends called my dogged attention to the written word tasteless. I of course reminded them that the proper word is distasteful.
• There is no greater sign of incompetence than running a nationalized institution. I distrust everyone who asks for or agrees to such a job.
• A collection of all-important truths. (http://tinyurl.com/4b7jl7)
• The most bizarre measurement of smart ever communicated is contained in the first sentence of the last graph. (http://tinyurl.com/5xu3wv)
• Russian eMail spam says: “Life is for party. Click here to blah, blah, blah.” When did Russian spammers start doing Yakov Smirnoff bits?
• i. TV sure seems like the real deal. iPhone + apps = fun, fun fun. (http://tinyurl.com/4g64gn)

The rabbits are tame in the park where this guy was photographed.

Shortly after posing for a picture, this rabbit came close enought to sniff and refuse a carrot.

Canon EOS 5D
ISO: 320. Shutter: 1/800. Aperture: f/2.8.
Focal Length: 200.0mm.
April 16, 2008 – Dallas, Tx.